i read yesterday....

that oklahoma is the 16th most unsafe state in the US.... right up there with..new mexico... arkansas....and texas!!!! upon sharing this information with a friend...he told me... he read last week... Forbes magazine has listed oklahoma "43rd" as to the quality of life....there is more... a few months ago the oklahoma gazette wrote an article regarding prescription drug abuse in the US and again... oklahoma was right up there at the top.... don't quote me on this...but if i recall we are in the top 5...if not number "1"...yep.... !!! this is one messed up state... we have a huge problem with teenage suicide as well pregnancy...and isn't the divorce rate above the national average... something like 60%.... ? i have no idea...the percentage of alcoholic okies...but i'm sure... it's devastatingly high...

what causes all this unhappiness?

perhaps there really is a fire breathing dragon...hovering just above us.... !!!

i wish i could go on a happiness crusade... wake the people up in this state.... go on a crime reduction crusade...wake people up in this state.... i wish i had the answers... i wish i could help change the sadness that consumes oklahomans... i wish i could help the misguided...unhappy teenagers...i wish...i could help... married couples considering divorce...i wish i could make a difference... but what i have found is in oklahoma city....people don't like happy people... i've even been told... by a friend... there is a woman who doesn't like me....saying i'm so "OPTIMISTIC" i'm always happy... Whaaaaa ut!!! are you serious... all i could do was laugh... people don't like me because i don't express....my woes all the time... holy bjesus...!!!

saturday night...i met some friends out for a drink... an acquaintance...can't really call her a friend... who just had a baby with a man i consider to be a very very dear person in my life... anyway she... jumped down my throat...screaming at me in public.... for mentioning...."long johns" at her b/f...almost husbands birthday party.... with a great deal of anger and intensity ...she told me how inappropriate it was... OMG...i'm so confused... apparently donuts...are inappropriate... last year for my friends birthday....we got him chocolate covered long johns at 7-11... instead of a birthday cake.... covered one with as many candles as possible.. (his name is john) he laughed so hard.... so when i arrived at the afternoon...birthday potluck...this last january.... i mentioned how i almost brought him "long johns" okay.... really...are you serious...this is inappropriate....? please help me understand ... i just don't get it...!!!

it's almost as though people...try and find a reason...no matter how silly...how ridiculous it is... to be sad or angry.... why?

all of the above...pretty much validates....my previous posts regarding.... oklahoma city... and the sadness....hovering like a fire breathing dragon..growing...rich in the red dirt...blowing across the plains... consuming people in this state... why so sad people... why???

okay....this is what i know... happiness is a state of mind... just like anything else... success... failure...sadness.... we can choose to be happy...or sad....we can choose success...or failure... we can smile and laugh....or sit teary eyed crying the days away... i will admit some sadness is necessary and there are certain things....that happen which cause sadness... no need to name them...we all have our sadness thermometer....

i know in oklahoma...the weather is most unpredictable... from one moment to the next you never know.... if people would just step outside of their cages....the metal four wheel boxes..... and look beyond their noses....they would see an entire world... they would see .....so many colors... so many beautiful things.... that surround them every second of everyday....they would see the stars in the night sky....the moon..waning and waxing....they would smell the scent in the air...just before the rain falls....the temp dropping...30 degrees within minutes.... they would see... the family next door.... see the children jumping on trampolines...or racing their bicycles...as fast as they can.... they would see so much to explore...find so much to feel...

as i love my home....this city... it has become more apparent to me... i can no longer stay here... i can no longer live in a city...which is consumed by sadness.... unhappiness.... the thing is... we have so much here....we have big houses...and cars to drive...we have grocery stores...filled with food to eat...we have schools to educate our children....ourselves.... we have washing machines and clothes dryers....we have wonderful restaurants.... to sit and eat...we have a wonderfully diverse community... filled with people from all around the world.... we have stories to tell... families....and lovers...we have children... and parents....we have shoes to wear... we have television...and music to hear.... we have so so much.... but it just doesn't seem enough... if we all took a second... to look left...then right....smell the newly blossomed flower.... looked up to see the birds....nesting in the trees...flying in our sky.... breathe in...all the glory...the sunrise...the sunset....drink the happiness... have some sex.... hug a friend..... break out the bubbles.... skip in water puddles....squish your toes in cold mushy mud.... dance in the rain... sing as loud as you can.... laugh a little... love a lot.... happiness...is right there in front of you... it's waiting...for us all....it's calling out your name.... it wants you to dive in.... and enjoy life..... it wants you to embrace....all you can...and never ever give up hope.... blow a kiss.... laugh at your mistakes.... learn to live.... learn to smile...learn to listen... live a little...live a lot....