Thursday, April 2, 2009

April Fools....

my son shouts...laughing so hard..."i got you mom"... after his oscar winning phone call performance...of just having a car wreck... i posted a short version of the dialogue between us on facebook.... which in turn...provoked several responses...from friends... to be honest i was more surprised by the responses than my sons convincing performance....

the phone call couldn't have been more than a minute... but...within that 60 seconds... while listening to him...asking him questions...my mind was racing...with visions of him...trapped inside his car... his arm broken and limp...his face bloody...how to get to him...as quickly as possible... it was as though i was right there by his side... not standing in mikeC's bedroom...watching him remove the closet door... oddly... mike had ZERO reaction...while i was freaking out on the phone... he just continued trying to remove one the doors..asking no questions...even though my voice was filled with fear and concern... my first question to leighton..."are you okay...are you hurt" still nothing...not a peek from inside the closet... nothing... i think mike would have been more concerned if it were my cat ollie or my dog lucy...than one of my sons...

in that minute...i was consumed with a mothers worst nightmare... my child is hurt... my child is scared and alone...my child...that i carried inside me for nine months....birthed naturally... nursed him...held him..comforted him... my baby...was hurt... it's amazing how my mind.... reacts... how calm...i become...in a moment of desperation...total fear... i don't know if all mothers are like this...if we all react the same... but i do know...there is this internal...maternal strength... mothers...have...that can move mountains...that can lift automobiles...that can do and act beyond our own physical strength or knowing...!!!

fortunately...my sons and i have had a great many adventures together.... we have been face to face with more than one life threatening situation... i suppose giving us the advantage...and understanding of how to recover quickly... get through it safely.....this isn't the first time...one of my sons have called... just after an accident....or other not so good situations... over the years i have learned how to deal with them... how to help them....usually they aren't an hour away...and i can get to them within minutes... between the two...there have been at least 5 car wrecks... a half dozen broken bones.... bloody bodies... a dozen or more trips to the emergency room... holding them...witnessing the fear in their eyes... doing what mothers do...

while others seemed angry or irritated by my sons april fools joke... i felt relief... a sigh of thank god...he's not hurt... i even found myself laughing ... saying.."you little shit"... "you little shit" both of us laughing...at his remarkably convincing... joke!!!

i would rather be laughing at the end...then crying... if the truth be known...!!!

1 comment:

mcarp said...

Well, I have to say, you sounded somewhat concerned, but not panicked.

And I didn't know you were talking to Leighton.