sometime in april i think..... the highly honored for his music talent vince gill and his lovely wife amy grant rolled into town...vince was to perform a benefit concert at "Grover Cleveland Elementary School" to raise funds to refurbish the old auditorium.... i remember hearing about this concert and thought how wonderful it would be to see vince...in our old school auditorium...the place where it all began.... the tickets were quite pricey....$500 each....whew!!!
one of our elementary classmates sent out emails to as many of us as he could find.... i began second grade at cleveland....a late comer compared to most... miss williams was my teacher.... the nicest woman...with dark loosely curled hair....glasses... she always wore the shirt dresses like mrs. cleaver on leave it to beaver.... the first email...from mike was letting us all know about the concert in an effort to get us back together...as well the opportunity to see vince in concert... the auditorium is rather small seating no more than 300 people... a few weeks later a reminder email came...and then another..... then one day.... i received an email saying...kelley... chip has some extra tickets and would like you to be his guest... apparently i was not the only fortunate cleveland kid to get this email....
the night of the event...20 of us....were back together in our elementary school.... the concert was an emotional experience....seeing kids...i had not seen since childhood...in the halls of the building some spent 7 years in...me 5 ....vince gill performing on the stage he had performed on so many years ago....at that time the stage seemed so large...swallowing up vince...as he sat in the center on a wooden chair.....playing his guitar...singing "house of the rising sun" .... oh those were the days.... that night vince performed the song that got him on the charts... a song popular when he was in 8th grade.... "amy" by pure prairie league.... he played and played...singing song after song...asking the audience for requests...telling childhood stories.... only those of us growing up in the sixties...going to that school could fully understand.... laughing... crying... he closed out the evening with the song we had heard him sing so many times before..."house of the rising sun"... there is no way to fully describe this night....
the next night.... we all got together at chip's house... telling stories from childhood...looking at old photo albums.... even though everyone had aged....they all looked the same...all acted the same... they were still the kids i had played chase...kickball...and soccer with.... thrown water balloons and snowballs with.... the memories came flooding back....like it was only yesterday....
that night brought us back together.... since then...several emails have been exchanged... with the holidays approaching... some coming home.... a reunion lunch planned for today....the only time available on every ones busy holiday schedule.... flashing back... to days when galoshes were fashionable....snow fell in feet rather than inches... girls could only wear dresses to school...pants were not allowed...white sparkle lipstick...april rain brought may flowers... silly things i remember.....people didn't seem to complain as much..... people seemed to enjoy life so much more.... perhaps it was being a child... protected from the heartaches...and struggles....
i find myself less excited about getting together again... hearing woes of life...complaints of being 50... whining about this and that.... nah.... i think i'd rather....remember the way it used to be... not a care in the world....the crush i had...the first kiss.... running as fast as i could.... jumping rope....in the rain.... hide and seek.... vince...and his guitar... singing....house of the rising sun.....in my brothers room...night after night....
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
thanksgiving........
for many years after my divorce....i spent thanksgiving alone... working through the holiday for an upcoming show... sometimes spending it with friends....but mostly... alone... while my sons were in new mexico skiing with their father, step mother and brother.... i still joked about it... turkey versus skiing...hmm not a tough one...especially when the boys didn't even like turkey....
up until 1975....the year my older brother joined the army....thanksgiving in my family was an event...planned for a good month prior to the day of dining...and football... never less than 20 people at the table...my family... consisted of 6... 4 kids, mom and dad...then there were the aunts and uncles their kids....grandparents.... friends... a feast of all feasts....of course meal time was determined by the football games being televised that day...
mom would put the turkey on sometime in the wee hours of the morning.... timing and temperature...an essential part.... basting the turkey every hour on the hour.... preparing the homemade dinner rolls... the scent of rising yeast...and roasting turkey...woke me every thanksgiving morning.... mom would also prepare a huge breakfast...which was to tide us over until the late afternoon dinner....
each of us had our dishes to prepare... except my younger brother kip.... i think he was forbidden to enter the kitchen...... chris would do the stuffed celery...with cream cheese, pecans, and a secret measurement of Worcestershire sauce... i always prepared the waldorf salad with apples and marshmallows.....and the relish platters... there were at least 5 different types of pies... pumpkin pie.... chocolate cream pie...coconut cream pie...pecan pie...and a fruit pie...apple or cherry......
my father's mother doris.... always brought chocolate fudge...her annual contribution to both thanksgiving and christmas dinner.... my mom would make a grimace look as she took the wax paper lined shoebox full of fudge... saying thank you doris...what a nice surprise....!!!
my sister and i always set the table in the formal dining room...used only for thanksgiving and christmas.... as well my grandmother thelma's china, crystal and sterling flatware....mom insisting it had been in the family for eons..... dad would extend the table.... what seemed like 10 extra feet.... cursing and moaning the entire time...mom making sure the special table protecting folding pads were placed on top....then the damask table cloths.. another family heirloom.... carefully my sister and i would place each setting..... an exquisite display.... fit for a magazine cover....
around 2:30 in the afternoon.... dad would take the turkey out of the oven.... mom would make the giblet gravy.... mashed potatoes.... relay of rolls going in and out of the oven...... the aroma was absolutely sinful... slowly the table would fill up....with dish after dish.... all of us helping....
dinner time.....mom would shout.... it's time to eat.... !!!!
dad at the head of the table...with the turkey placed in front of him....mom opposite... me being the only lefty in the family sat at the end so i wouldn't elbow people during dinner... everyone seated.... first bowing our heads.... giving thanks for every minute of the day... the family...the food...the football....
dad standing up like the king of his castle....hovering over the turkey.... electric knife in one hand and a serving fork in the other.... he would begin carving away with such precision....sneaking bite after bite...... everyone scooping small portions of each dish being passed clockwise around the table.... no one dared to take a bite until dad was seated.... let the eating begin.... the hustle bustle ....the chatter.... all fell silent.... the only sound to be heard was the scraping of forks on the china....the mmm....oh this is so good.... would you pass the green beans.... the potatoes.... eating and eating until no one could move.... suddenly mom...who seemed to have more energy than 10 people put together...would say...who wants coffee... and pie....
soon the feast was over....slowly everyone piling into the den to watch football...fire blazing in the fire place....even if it was 60 degrees outside....tradition.... one by one the guest would leave.... at night fall it was back to the 6 of us.... tired.... quiet... stuffed... grateful....
wishing you all a thanksgiving filled with family...friends...and wonderful memories....
up until 1975....the year my older brother joined the army....thanksgiving in my family was an event...planned for a good month prior to the day of dining...and football... never less than 20 people at the table...my family... consisted of 6... 4 kids, mom and dad...then there were the aunts and uncles their kids....grandparents.... friends... a feast of all feasts....of course meal time was determined by the football games being televised that day...
mom would put the turkey on sometime in the wee hours of the morning.... timing and temperature...an essential part.... basting the turkey every hour on the hour.... preparing the homemade dinner rolls... the scent of rising yeast...and roasting turkey...woke me every thanksgiving morning.... mom would also prepare a huge breakfast...which was to tide us over until the late afternoon dinner....
each of us had our dishes to prepare... except my younger brother kip.... i think he was forbidden to enter the kitchen...... chris would do the stuffed celery...with cream cheese, pecans, and a secret measurement of Worcestershire sauce... i always prepared the waldorf salad with apples and marshmallows.....and the relish platters... there were at least 5 different types of pies... pumpkin pie.... chocolate cream pie...coconut cream pie...pecan pie...and a fruit pie...apple or cherry......
my father's mother doris.... always brought chocolate fudge...her annual contribution to both thanksgiving and christmas dinner.... my mom would make a grimace look as she took the wax paper lined shoebox full of fudge... saying thank you doris...what a nice surprise....!!!
my sister and i always set the table in the formal dining room...used only for thanksgiving and christmas.... as well my grandmother thelma's china, crystal and sterling flatware....mom insisting it had been in the family for eons..... dad would extend the table.... what seemed like 10 extra feet.... cursing and moaning the entire time...mom making sure the special table protecting folding pads were placed on top....then the damask table cloths.. another family heirloom.... carefully my sister and i would place each setting..... an exquisite display.... fit for a magazine cover....
around 2:30 in the afternoon.... dad would take the turkey out of the oven.... mom would make the giblet gravy.... mashed potatoes.... relay of rolls going in and out of the oven...... the aroma was absolutely sinful... slowly the table would fill up....with dish after dish.... all of us helping....
dinner time.....mom would shout.... it's time to eat.... !!!!
dad at the head of the table...with the turkey placed in front of him....mom opposite... me being the only lefty in the family sat at the end so i wouldn't elbow people during dinner... everyone seated.... first bowing our heads.... giving thanks for every minute of the day... the family...the food...the football....
dad standing up like the king of his castle....hovering over the turkey.... electric knife in one hand and a serving fork in the other.... he would begin carving away with such precision....sneaking bite after bite...... everyone scooping small portions of each dish being passed clockwise around the table.... no one dared to take a bite until dad was seated.... let the eating begin.... the hustle bustle ....the chatter.... all fell silent.... the only sound to be heard was the scraping of forks on the china....the mmm....oh this is so good.... would you pass the green beans.... the potatoes.... eating and eating until no one could move.... suddenly mom...who seemed to have more energy than 10 people put together...would say...who wants coffee... and pie....
soon the feast was over....slowly everyone piling into the den to watch football...fire blazing in the fire place....even if it was 60 degrees outside....tradition.... one by one the guest would leave.... at night fall it was back to the 6 of us.... tired.... quiet... stuffed... grateful....
wishing you all a thanksgiving filled with family...friends...and wonderful memories....
Sunday, November 23, 2008
summing it all up
what a week... glad it's come to a close...
highs and lows... of life can sometimes get the best of me.... last week was one of those weeks... every single day...was over the top huge.... monday.... spending the day...at isis working on the hookah bar... sanding...grinding....drilling...cutting... 5 or 6 hours later it was installed to my satisfaction...
craig was in an out all day... checking on me...making sure i had what i needed... he was in an amazing mood...even teasing me for not having an Ipod... so he left his for my listening pleasure... sweeeeet!!!
mikeC stopped by to check on the progress a couple of times... we had dinner that evening at cattleman's...me in my cute little pink henley... and 501 levi's covered with black steel soot..... i was a mess to say the least.... that was the same night of my incredible surprise... tuesday morning... mikeC calls...telling me about craig...but no one knew for sure.... in shock.... i called craig's cell.... his wife carol answered... it was in fact true... he was gone...another person in our small community passes on.. 6 young men in just 4 months.... that afternoon...val and i made his final arrangements at the crematorium... not a pleasant experience... val began talking of his life... his wife...his son mark... crying..tears rolling down his cheeks... holding his hand...while he shared with me... sweet stories from years ago...
wednesday...was much better.... the bike ride was amazing.... i also had a rather important personal meeting that morning.... another rescheduled... this was good news... then a meeting that evening for an upcoming fund raiser....
thursday... lots going on...birthdays.... wakes... working here and there... the temperature had dropped from the low 70's the day before to the low 40's... brrrr!!!! craigs wake... a beautiful celebration.....galileo was jam packed with people.... only one person got up and spoke...sandi...thanking everyone for being there and introducing a song lyric they had found in the office which craig had apparently written monday.....the night was full with so many hugs...so many tears.. so many shots....what was i thinking.....
friday hangover... oh ouch!!! draggin ace.. mikeC and i had lunch..then went to check out ginormous boulders.....we found the coolest boulder ... mike tried it out...in several positions... like one tries out a bed mattress...he sat on it... he laid on it... he walked around it...studying every visible inch of it... deciding this was the one... it's being delivered monday.... i must admit the rock is a sculptural masterpiece of color...shape and space.... nothing short of beautiful....
by saturday... zombie mode set in.... spent the day alone for the most part... quiet... restful...
today.... preparing for the upcoming holiday...family converging at grand lake...30 or so of us... holy shit... happy happy thanksgiving...!!!
highs and lows... of life can sometimes get the best of me.... last week was one of those weeks... every single day...was over the top huge.... monday.... spending the day...at isis working on the hookah bar... sanding...grinding....drilling...cutting... 5 or 6 hours later it was installed to my satisfaction...
craig was in an out all day... checking on me...making sure i had what i needed... he was in an amazing mood...even teasing me for not having an Ipod... so he left his for my listening pleasure... sweeeeet!!!
mikeC stopped by to check on the progress a couple of times... we had dinner that evening at cattleman's...me in my cute little pink henley... and 501 levi's covered with black steel soot..... i was a mess to say the least.... that was the same night of my incredible surprise... tuesday morning... mikeC calls...telling me about craig...but no one knew for sure.... in shock.... i called craig's cell.... his wife carol answered... it was in fact true... he was gone...another person in our small community passes on.. 6 young men in just 4 months.... that afternoon...val and i made his final arrangements at the crematorium... not a pleasant experience... val began talking of his life... his wife...his son mark... crying..tears rolling down his cheeks... holding his hand...while he shared with me... sweet stories from years ago...
wednesday...was much better.... the bike ride was amazing.... i also had a rather important personal meeting that morning.... another rescheduled... this was good news... then a meeting that evening for an upcoming fund raiser....
thursday... lots going on...birthdays.... wakes... working here and there... the temperature had dropped from the low 70's the day before to the low 40's... brrrr!!!! craigs wake... a beautiful celebration.....galileo was jam packed with people.... only one person got up and spoke...sandi...thanking everyone for being there and introducing a song lyric they had found in the office which craig had apparently written monday.....the night was full with so many hugs...so many tears.. so many shots....what was i thinking.....
friday hangover... oh ouch!!! draggin ace.. mikeC and i had lunch..then went to check out ginormous boulders.....we found the coolest boulder ... mike tried it out...in several positions... like one tries out a bed mattress...he sat on it... he laid on it... he walked around it...studying every visible inch of it... deciding this was the one... it's being delivered monday.... i must admit the rock is a sculptural masterpiece of color...shape and space.... nothing short of beautiful....
by saturday... zombie mode set in.... spent the day alone for the most part... quiet... restful...
today.... preparing for the upcoming holiday...family converging at grand lake...30 or so of us... holy shit... happy happy thanksgiving...!!!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
the warm sun
wednesday's bike ride.... my new ride peri... short for periwinkle..... mikeC on his red citizen breezer... yellow saddle bags on the back... we rode against the wind.... west on n.w. 19th... to may avenue... the median... recently landscaped...remnants of just completed work.... concrete disc shaped patios...walk ways from the curb...benches placed opposite... autumn in oklahoma... is always full with color...lasting anywhere from a week or two to a full month of oranges.. fading green into yellow....red...brown... against the clear blue sky...branches bare... standing with great majesty..... the bradford pear trees... offering the most brilliant color... illuminated by the afternoon sun...absorbing as much as my eyes could soak in....old houses... architecture found only in this part of town... bricks of brown with arches and high rising peaks... large front porches..... making a u turn at may.... not wanting this ride to end.... we continued east on 19th crossing penn avenue.... into gatewood... zig zagging...turning left and right.... making our way to the paseo.... taking a break at sauced... visiting with friends...as the patio began to fill up... mike and i planned our route back to his house... the least hilly path to travel.... we decided to take dewey... to 18th... a painted white line... the so called bike lane...was filled with debris.... glass.... leaves... gravel... not exactly... safe for two wheels... school was just getting out....kids on bikes... on foot....parents in cars lined up waiting for their children.... adding to the excitement of the afternoon ride.... we rode and rode... enjoying the breeze...the sun...the freedom only felt on a bike... a child like freedom...exploding inside... riding fast...then slow....stopping on a dime... turning circles in the middle of the street.... up and down the drive ways.... swerving back and forth... sometimes stopping at stop signs...other times... barely yielding as we rode through to the other side.... finally arriving at mikeC's.... exhilarated... happy... energized... the perfect ride...on a perfect wednesday afternoon... the warm sun... the light breeze....the color....
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
i had the.....
most incredible surprise last night.... one of those surprises... so wonderful...all i could do was cry and laugh at the same time....
i'm still in shock....pinch pinch...is this real....last night...i must have gotten up 10 times... just to see if it was still here....
it's real...and it's mine...and i am smiling from ear to ear....
thank you thank you thank you....
i'm still in shock....pinch pinch...is this real....last night...i must have gotten up 10 times... just to see if it was still here....
it's real...and it's mine...and i am smiling from ear to ear....
thank you thank you thank you....
Sunday, November 16, 2008
random acts of kindness
i'm starting a new campaign.... encouraging people to find one thing in their lives that is good... that makes them smile...that is filled with sunshiny happiness.... to look to the future with positive eyes and heart... to believe that anything is possible.... and that the media and it's gloom and doom does not control our lives....
lately... every time i turn on the radio... or the news... all i hear is gloom and doom.... even NPR which is usually a bit more upbeat... reports the fall of the stock market..the fall of the automobile industry... the banks...the home mortgages.... no one has the answer...the whole 700 billion bail out appears to be another "weapons of mass destruction" the AIG's of this country... i could care less about...and first hand knowledge knows the AIG's could care less about us too.... they just want our money...yep..that's it....now... it is being reported no one knows just how to distribute the 700 billion... who gets saved... no shit... are you really surprised...no really....?
it's getting to the point i'm afraid to turn on the radio or the news... because it's all bad... not that the news hasn't always been sensationalized.... to capture our attention... the fear factor....has great power..... and so many believe everything they hear.... the more fear they instill in our minds the more power they have over us... yesterday.... i read how there is always a high number of death threats reported after a presidential election....this time it's at an all time high... the hate and anger in this country is pathetic.... people hate in the name of religion...jesus crist... they hate because the bible says so... are you fucking kidding me...?
when i was working on my degree at UCO... i had a class with Dr. Watson... a class i had to take for my degree.... reluctant to be in his class...putting it off as long as possible... he completely intimidated me... hearing story after story....reinforced my own fear of taking his class... as it turned out the stories were only stories...and Dr Watson was without a doubt... one the most influential and impressive professors of my college career... on the first day of class he gave us our syllabus...thoroughly explaining what was expected of us as well he gave us an assignment which was to be completed by the end of the semester...this assignment didn't have anything to do with commercial art...it had to do with kindness.... the assignment was to intentionally perform...10 random acts of kindness...fill out the form for each and turn them in.... kindness is completely underrated... i found myself doing things i would have never thought of before... not that i wasn't kind...it was that i had to be thoughtful of acting kind all the time... be aware of my actions towards others... what a novel idea... kindness... who would have thought...
i challenge each of you....to intentionally... do something kind for a stranger...a friend... to thoughtfully....selflessly put yourself aside and do something kind just for the heck of it... write it down... you don't have to tell anyone....just record what you did... make a list of all the kind things you have done each day....it could be as simple as saying "excuse me i think you dropped this" or perhaps a SMILE..... just step outside of yourself and do something kind for another person... after about a week...read through your list of random acts of kindness... and see how you feel... it's not what others do for you....it's what you do for others....
i'm certain...after a week of consciously... performing acts of kindness... "the ember of love"... will be charged within you... and a smile...a warm smile will emerge within your heart...your lips stretching from ear to ear.... feeling really good about yourself... feeling like you made a difference...as small as it was... you did something kind.....you changed another persons day... which in turn...changed another persons day...and another and another.....
lately... every time i turn on the radio... or the news... all i hear is gloom and doom.... even NPR which is usually a bit more upbeat... reports the fall of the stock market..the fall of the automobile industry... the banks...the home mortgages.... no one has the answer...the whole 700 billion bail out appears to be another "weapons of mass destruction" the AIG's of this country... i could care less about...and first hand knowledge knows the AIG's could care less about us too.... they just want our money...yep..that's it....now... it is being reported no one knows just how to distribute the 700 billion... who gets saved... no shit... are you really surprised...no really....?
it's getting to the point i'm afraid to turn on the radio or the news... because it's all bad... not that the news hasn't always been sensationalized.... to capture our attention... the fear factor....has great power..... and so many believe everything they hear.... the more fear they instill in our minds the more power they have over us... yesterday.... i read how there is always a high number of death threats reported after a presidential election....this time it's at an all time high... the hate and anger in this country is pathetic.... people hate in the name of religion...jesus crist... they hate because the bible says so... are you fucking kidding me...?
when i was working on my degree at UCO... i had a class with Dr. Watson... a class i had to take for my degree.... reluctant to be in his class...putting it off as long as possible... he completely intimidated me... hearing story after story....reinforced my own fear of taking his class... as it turned out the stories were only stories...and Dr Watson was without a doubt... one the most influential and impressive professors of my college career... on the first day of class he gave us our syllabus...thoroughly explaining what was expected of us as well he gave us an assignment which was to be completed by the end of the semester...this assignment didn't have anything to do with commercial art...it had to do with kindness.... the assignment was to intentionally perform...10 random acts of kindness...fill out the form for each and turn them in.... kindness is completely underrated... i found myself doing things i would have never thought of before... not that i wasn't kind...it was that i had to be thoughtful of acting kind all the time... be aware of my actions towards others... what a novel idea... kindness... who would have thought...
i challenge each of you....to intentionally... do something kind for a stranger...a friend... to thoughtfully....selflessly put yourself aside and do something kind just for the heck of it... write it down... you don't have to tell anyone....just record what you did... make a list of all the kind things you have done each day....it could be as simple as saying "excuse me i think you dropped this" or perhaps a SMILE..... just step outside of yourself and do something kind for another person... after about a week...read through your list of random acts of kindness... and see how you feel... it's not what others do for you....it's what you do for others....
i'm certain...after a week of consciously... performing acts of kindness... "the ember of love"... will be charged within you... and a smile...a warm smile will emerge within your heart...your lips stretching from ear to ear.... feeling really good about yourself... feeling like you made a difference...as small as it was... you did something kind.....you changed another persons day... which in turn...changed another persons day...and another and another.....
Saturday, November 15, 2008
miracles.....
november 13th... was one of those days... waking in the best mood...knowing this day would be one bad ass day... the world was gonna shine upon me all it's magic and in one swift moment....all my problems would disappear.... the pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow...was just waiting for me...to dig my hands into...
NOPE
around 9:30am... just after getting my house cleaned... and the floors swept...is when it all changed.... at this moment...i knew... my great day had just gone to shit...but...i was gonna hold on to my dream...as long as i could... it was while i was taking the full trash bag out of the container....when it split...from the bottom up...spilling all it's contents onto the freshly cleaned floor.... coffee grounds...wet paper... etc... i just laughed... and said...no god not today....you're not gonna do this to me today.... after cleaning up the mess.... taking the trash out....everything satisfactory... it was on to the next thing...
shower....brush wet hair...get dressed....head to the red cup....for a quick cup of coffee and a short visit... here comes the next blow...unexpected.... while waiting in line... one of the girls behind the counter decided to pull a little power trip... in front of everyone standing at the counter she asked me for a receipt..... what.... i don't have a receipt....you know for that $20....no i don't have the receipt...the 20 is in the envelop....i will bring the receipt in when i have it... a little history.... this is the red cups 6th annual trinkets n baubles holiday event....which i have put on every year.... outside of the food which the red cup handles.... the little power tripper.... completely played game on me..... i immediately went into defense mode....got a little irritated.... telling her i've been doing it this way for six years and there has not been a problem yet...i get some cash...pick up whatever is needed...bring back a receipt...simple as that.... she then tells me things change....and is wanting me to spend my money then get reimbursed.... no... i don't think so... it's your event.... i'm a volunteer...so we will be spending red cups money and i will bring back the receipt... okay.... of course....she had to get the last word in...telling me she would..."just talk to.....kurt..." i'm thinking is this a threat...or what..?....i really don't know what that meant... WTF ever... about 20 minutes later....i left the cup...to run errands.... still pondering what had just happened... okay...kelley let it go...she's pregnant... a control freak... just let it go...
the next thing i know...my car is driving funny.... the steering wheel is pulling to the left...and i'm hearing this clack clack clack sound...holy shit... what's up with this.... more history.... my right front tire was losing air...for like 3 weeks.... every morning i had to stop at the 7 11 put air in the tire... well i got that fixed wednesday night...or was it tuesday.... not permanently fixed but fixed enough to get around for a few more weeks...i had hoped anyway... both of my front tires were in really bad shape....worn slick to say the least.... so here it is... 11:30....thursday morning... and clack...clack...clack.... pulling into the 7 11 to check my tires... i see that now my front left tire was losing air... i'm an expert at this now... right...so i grab the air hose...and begin to fill up the tire when i notice what appears to be a toggle bolt in my tire... yep... a toggle bolt...
okay....this was it... the straw that broke the camels back.... i knew right then i was in trouble....
my day was going to hell in hand basket...still holding on to my dream.... i wasn't gonna let this get me down...nope...i wasn't...
eventually it did....4:30pm... i took some tools to mikec's house for some work i am doing.... mike suggested we take isabella to the firestone place.... to get the tire fixed....well of course... they couldn't get to it until friday morning... while standing at the counter....i could feel the tears....they were coming and nothing was stopping them... i looked at the firestone guy...then to mike... saying... i don't want him to see me cry....quickly turning away.... slipping my sunglasses down over my eyes...i walked out of the building.... mike offered to take me home.... but i had one more stop...
i went to visit a friend...when the crying really hit...and wouldn't stop... i cried and cired for hours....at 10:30pm i went to get in my car to go home and the tire was completely flat.... i had to drive on it for several blocks to get air.... crying the entire way.... screaming not very nice things at myself.... while people passed me....my hazard lights flashing... oh...this is such a great f...ing day....
friday morning arrives....i'm still here... still angry about the toggle bolt....another flat tire... the world sucks...
okay...this is where the miracle comes in....... mikeC followed me to the firestone place again...dropped isabella off...it would take about 2 hours... my spirits way low... exhausted from all the crying...emotionally drained... still teary...mike and i went to breakfast....ran a couple of errands.....stopped at the red cup...and after about 30 minutes there... we left... to run more errands.... my phone rings.... hello.... hi kelley? this is bubba... at firestone... oh yes...hi..is my car ready...well no... it's not...the tire is unrepairable....repeating out loud what bubba had said.... mike responded...i was afraid of that... anyway... there was no other choice but to get a new tire.... within 15 minutes bubba called again..saying the other tire is bald... and needs to be replaced as well.... an hour or so later...isabella had new tires... and was ready to go...
this is what i'm thinking....if the toggle bolt had not jumped up and poked itself into my tire.... i would have continued driving on the unsafe bald tires as long as i could...which might have ended in disaster... or me in the hospital.... all of this.... tells me...that really shitty things...could turn into really great things...and something as silly as a toggle bolt became a miracle in my life.... who knows... perhaps there is more to this life of mine than i thought....
NOPE
around 9:30am... just after getting my house cleaned... and the floors swept...is when it all changed.... at this moment...i knew... my great day had just gone to shit...but...i was gonna hold on to my dream...as long as i could... it was while i was taking the full trash bag out of the container....when it split...from the bottom up...spilling all it's contents onto the freshly cleaned floor.... coffee grounds...wet paper... etc... i just laughed... and said...no god not today....you're not gonna do this to me today.... after cleaning up the mess.... taking the trash out....everything satisfactory... it was on to the next thing...
shower....brush wet hair...get dressed....head to the red cup....for a quick cup of coffee and a short visit... here comes the next blow...unexpected.... while waiting in line... one of the girls behind the counter decided to pull a little power trip... in front of everyone standing at the counter she asked me for a receipt..... what.... i don't have a receipt....you know for that $20....no i don't have the receipt...the 20 is in the envelop....i will bring the receipt in when i have it... a little history.... this is the red cups 6th annual trinkets n baubles holiday event....which i have put on every year.... outside of the food which the red cup handles.... the little power tripper.... completely played game on me..... i immediately went into defense mode....got a little irritated.... telling her i've been doing it this way for six years and there has not been a problem yet...i get some cash...pick up whatever is needed...bring back a receipt...simple as that.... she then tells me things change....and is wanting me to spend my money then get reimbursed.... no... i don't think so... it's your event.... i'm a volunteer...so we will be spending red cups money and i will bring back the receipt... okay.... of course....she had to get the last word in...telling me she would..."just talk to.....kurt..." i'm thinking is this a threat...or what..?....i really don't know what that meant... WTF ever... about 20 minutes later....i left the cup...to run errands.... still pondering what had just happened... okay...kelley let it go...she's pregnant... a control freak... just let it go...
the next thing i know...my car is driving funny.... the steering wheel is pulling to the left...and i'm hearing this clack clack clack sound...holy shit... what's up with this.... more history.... my right front tire was losing air...for like 3 weeks.... every morning i had to stop at the 7 11 put air in the tire... well i got that fixed wednesday night...or was it tuesday.... not permanently fixed but fixed enough to get around for a few more weeks...i had hoped anyway... both of my front tires were in really bad shape....worn slick to say the least.... so here it is... 11:30....thursday morning... and clack...clack...clack.... pulling into the 7 11 to check my tires... i see that now my front left tire was losing air... i'm an expert at this now... right...so i grab the air hose...and begin to fill up the tire when i notice what appears to be a toggle bolt in my tire... yep... a toggle bolt...
okay....this was it... the straw that broke the camels back.... i knew right then i was in trouble....
my day was going to hell in hand basket...still holding on to my dream.... i wasn't gonna let this get me down...nope...i wasn't...
eventually it did....4:30pm... i took some tools to mikec's house for some work i am doing.... mike suggested we take isabella to the firestone place.... to get the tire fixed....well of course... they couldn't get to it until friday morning... while standing at the counter....i could feel the tears....they were coming and nothing was stopping them... i looked at the firestone guy...then to mike... saying... i don't want him to see me cry....quickly turning away.... slipping my sunglasses down over my eyes...i walked out of the building.... mike offered to take me home.... but i had one more stop...
i went to visit a friend...when the crying really hit...and wouldn't stop... i cried and cired for hours....at 10:30pm i went to get in my car to go home and the tire was completely flat.... i had to drive on it for several blocks to get air.... crying the entire way.... screaming not very nice things at myself.... while people passed me....my hazard lights flashing... oh...this is such a great f...ing day....
friday morning arrives....i'm still here... still angry about the toggle bolt....another flat tire... the world sucks...
okay...this is where the miracle comes in....... mikeC followed me to the firestone place again...dropped isabella off...it would take about 2 hours... my spirits way low... exhausted from all the crying...emotionally drained... still teary...mike and i went to breakfast....ran a couple of errands.....stopped at the red cup...and after about 30 minutes there... we left... to run more errands.... my phone rings.... hello.... hi kelley? this is bubba... at firestone... oh yes...hi..is my car ready...well no... it's not...the tire is unrepairable....repeating out loud what bubba had said.... mike responded...i was afraid of that... anyway... there was no other choice but to get a new tire.... within 15 minutes bubba called again..saying the other tire is bald... and needs to be replaced as well.... an hour or so later...isabella had new tires... and was ready to go...
this is what i'm thinking....if the toggle bolt had not jumped up and poked itself into my tire.... i would have continued driving on the unsafe bald tires as long as i could...which might have ended in disaster... or me in the hospital.... all of this.... tells me...that really shitty things...could turn into really great things...and something as silly as a toggle bolt became a miracle in my life.... who knows... perhaps there is more to this life of mine than i thought....
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
interview with NPR
went really well... i was the 4th medical question being addressed.... the first two dealt with ankle injuries....the other a headache which is induced by cooking onions and garlic....then me.. the gurgle belly girl.... dr zorba and tom were fun to speak with...they laughed a bit... teased me a bit... dr zorba said...he gets asked all the time what's the most interesting/amusing medical question he has been asked... he then said....they are all interesting...but this one... is at the top of the list...
the good news is there is actually a remedy....
the good news is there is actually a remedy....
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
npr junkie...
last thursday... while driving around the city....NPR was on the radio.... the D.R. show had just come to a close... it's...almost 11 a.m.... Dr. Zorba is getting ready to come on... the number to call in with questions is announced...so i dialed the 1800 # ... i was directed to a V-mail which asked for certain info...like name...city....symptom or medical question... i followed the instructions... leaving all the necessary information....hung up...somewhat disappointed i didn't get to talk the the Doc himself... about my medical condition... i'm so laughing right now....
well...i forgot all about it... then yesterday morning... the producers of the show called me... and asked me if they could interview me between 9 and 11 today...
just for the record i'm not sick...i just have this funny thing that happens quite often... and it can be rather embarrassing... when i lay on my back.... my tummy begins to gurgle... and i mean guuuurgle... sometimes really loud.... i can even see my tummy moving about like there is a party going on inside there.... recently it was brought to my attention... it does this when i walk about as well... the gentleman i spoke with yesterday said they felt this was a very good question for their show...that there are probably a lot of people who have this same problem.... gurgle gurgle gurgle... so... today...i will have my 15 minutes...seconds of fame...ha!!! not exactly what i had hoped for as to fame...but hey... it's a gurgle right....
i actually mentioned this to a few friends yesterday...and they too have had this...one still does the other...not since he quit a job several years ago... so perhaps...the gurgling is really a common thing... no one really talks about....ha!!
i can't stop laughing....
well...i forgot all about it... then yesterday morning... the producers of the show called me... and asked me if they could interview me between 9 and 11 today...
just for the record i'm not sick...i just have this funny thing that happens quite often... and it can be rather embarrassing... when i lay on my back.... my tummy begins to gurgle... and i mean guuuurgle... sometimes really loud.... i can even see my tummy moving about like there is a party going on inside there.... recently it was brought to my attention... it does this when i walk about as well... the gentleman i spoke with yesterday said they felt this was a very good question for their show...that there are probably a lot of people who have this same problem.... gurgle gurgle gurgle... so... today...i will have my 15 minutes...seconds of fame...ha!!! not exactly what i had hoped for as to fame...but hey... it's a gurgle right....
i actually mentioned this to a few friends yesterday...and they too have had this...one still does the other...not since he quit a job several years ago... so perhaps...the gurgling is really a common thing... no one really talks about....ha!!
i can't stop laughing....
Friday, November 7, 2008
tonight
the first friday art walk...is upon us again...however this time i am participating.....
Larry Pickering, Otis Baldwin and myself will be showing sculpture on the patio at sauced...
i have my work cut out for me today.... not as ready as i would like to be...but somehow i always manage.... everything seems last minute.... perhaps the secret ingredient...
Otis is only 14..... he seems confident...not at all nervous.... recently being highlighted on OETA television... for his work as an art Student at Classen School of Advanced Studies.... this kid is over the top impressive....
most work will be steel ...welded pieces of metal... some shiny...some rusted...some painted.. some furniture...some sculpture...
okay...i'm nervous...i'm really nervous...
Larry Pickering, Otis Baldwin and myself will be showing sculpture on the patio at sauced...
i have my work cut out for me today.... not as ready as i would like to be...but somehow i always manage.... everything seems last minute.... perhaps the secret ingredient...
Otis is only 14..... he seems confident...not at all nervous.... recently being highlighted on OETA television... for his work as an art Student at Classen School of Advanced Studies.... this kid is over the top impressive....
most work will be steel ...welded pieces of metal... some shiny...some rusted...some painted.. some furniture...some sculpture...
okay...i'm nervous...i'm really nervous...
Thursday, November 6, 2008
i witnessed....
domestic violence in full force....
yesterday afternoon....a friend borrowed my phone while at sauced.....she had lost her phone the night before...while celebrating the victory of our president elect..... just after getting in my car... i noticed i had several v-mails...which i'm not very good at checking...for some reason i did... i had driven about 4 blocks...when i heard a message for andrea from her mother... so i quickly turned around and went to find her... she had gone to a friends apartment to rest... suffering from a bit of a cold mixed with a draught beer hangover....
i pulled into the rather shady parking lot of the run down building.... one would think condemned.... no doors on the front or back... i walked around the building calling out to andrea....not sure which apartment she was in.... luckily one of the construction guys was in the front and directed me to rich's place.... most of the apartments were being remodeled.... only 3 were occupied... rich's being one... a tiny apartment... the living room converted into the bedroom...the actual bedroom was the size of a closet and no way could a bed of any size fit... well decorated... very clean...pretty cool little place.....rich covered in tattoos was lying in bed...recovering from a broken collar bone... handing andrea my phone... telling her..."your mom called and needs you to call her".... rich and i visited while andrea returned her mother's call... about 10 minutes after arriving.... the muffled sound of a man yelling and a women screaming from the apartment next door began to vibrate the walls... the mans voice became louder and louder...hearing every word clearly...."you fucking bitch" the woman began screaming the sound of slapping over and over....you fucking bitch.... screaming....hitting....louder louder... hearing her body being thrown and hitting the walls... more slapping and yelling you fucking bitch.... afraid to open the door and look into the hall... for fear of being seen... for fear of what i might see.... the violence became unbearable... i finally stepped into the hall and yelled..."HEY"...as loud as i could...hoping the man would hear me.... he yelled even louder....there was no stopping this man from beating the woman....going back inside...locking the door... rich called the landlord...me pacing back and forth...andrea talking...omg... finally i couldn't stand another second... grabbing my phone.... thinking to myself this has to stop... calling 9 1 1... my voice shaking.... telling the woman on the other end....a woman is being beaten next door.... he is beating the holy shit out of her.... over and over again...relaying the address...somehow...she continued to repeat....walker and south santa fe.... no no....NW 28th and walker.... she wanted a description of the man... i couldn't see him... after several minutes....of trying to explain where we were....frustrated i stepped into the hall..there they were....the man standing with his back to me... firmly planted....feet spread shoulder width apart...hands on his hips...yelling at the petite woman.... another guy had intervened...calming his friend... all i could see was his shirt...brown plaid...jeans....black man... i was told to stay on the line...don't go...stay with me.... i couldn't stop shaking....tears...were building in my eyes...i was witnessing something i had only seen on tv.... it was like "COPS" .... my heart racing....hands trembling....all three of us...looking at each other...helpless... there was nothing we could do but wait...for the police... finally...a tall handsome officer.... walks in the back.... i looked at him....saying your not alone are you? the officer didn't acknowledge my question...no expression on his face....andrea told him where to go..... we decided to wait inside rich's place...not wanting to be seen...then realizing it was most likely better to go while the police was there.... so we gathered our things....sneaking out the back.... just after backing out of the parking lot onto walker.... out walked the officer and a man in handcuffs.... wearing a black leather jacket...the officer opened the door...motioning him to get in.... thank god....they arrested him.... thank god... they took him away... my body was shaking from the inside out.... uncontrollably.... i looked at andrea...saying... i need a shot.... i need a shot now....
i could have gone my entire life without witnessing this... the thing is...he will be released...the wife most likely will not press charges...and upon his return... he will do the same thing again.... perhaps this time worse... because he thinks she called the police.... questioning myself...did i do the right thing....or did i just make things worse for this woman...?
i do know... for a few hours...no one will be beating her... no one will be yelling at her... she will be safe... for a while...safe from the anger... the bruises.... the slapping and hitting...
yesterday afternoon....a friend borrowed my phone while at sauced.....she had lost her phone the night before...while celebrating the victory of our president elect..... just after getting in my car... i noticed i had several v-mails...which i'm not very good at checking...for some reason i did... i had driven about 4 blocks...when i heard a message for andrea from her mother... so i quickly turned around and went to find her... she had gone to a friends apartment to rest... suffering from a bit of a cold mixed with a draught beer hangover....
i pulled into the rather shady parking lot of the run down building.... one would think condemned.... no doors on the front or back... i walked around the building calling out to andrea....not sure which apartment she was in.... luckily one of the construction guys was in the front and directed me to rich's place.... most of the apartments were being remodeled.... only 3 were occupied... rich's being one... a tiny apartment... the living room converted into the bedroom...the actual bedroom was the size of a closet and no way could a bed of any size fit... well decorated... very clean...pretty cool little place.....rich covered in tattoos was lying in bed...recovering from a broken collar bone... handing andrea my phone... telling her..."your mom called and needs you to call her".... rich and i visited while andrea returned her mother's call... about 10 minutes after arriving.... the muffled sound of a man yelling and a women screaming from the apartment next door began to vibrate the walls... the mans voice became louder and louder...hearing every word clearly...."you fucking bitch" the woman began screaming the sound of slapping over and over....you fucking bitch.... screaming....hitting....louder louder... hearing her body being thrown and hitting the walls... more slapping and yelling you fucking bitch.... afraid to open the door and look into the hall... for fear of being seen... for fear of what i might see.... the violence became unbearable... i finally stepped into the hall and yelled..."HEY"...as loud as i could...hoping the man would hear me.... he yelled even louder....there was no stopping this man from beating the woman....going back inside...locking the door... rich called the landlord...me pacing back and forth...andrea talking...omg... finally i couldn't stand another second... grabbing my phone.... thinking to myself this has to stop... calling 9 1 1... my voice shaking.... telling the woman on the other end....a woman is being beaten next door.... he is beating the holy shit out of her.... over and over again...relaying the address...somehow...she continued to repeat....walker and south santa fe.... no no....NW 28th and walker.... she wanted a description of the man... i couldn't see him... after several minutes....of trying to explain where we were....frustrated i stepped into the hall..there they were....the man standing with his back to me... firmly planted....feet spread shoulder width apart...hands on his hips...yelling at the petite woman.... another guy had intervened...calming his friend... all i could see was his shirt...brown plaid...jeans....black man... i was told to stay on the line...don't go...stay with me.... i couldn't stop shaking....tears...were building in my eyes...i was witnessing something i had only seen on tv.... it was like "COPS" .... my heart racing....hands trembling....all three of us...looking at each other...helpless... there was nothing we could do but wait...for the police... finally...a tall handsome officer.... walks in the back.... i looked at him....saying your not alone are you? the officer didn't acknowledge my question...no expression on his face....andrea told him where to go..... we decided to wait inside rich's place...not wanting to be seen...then realizing it was most likely better to go while the police was there.... so we gathered our things....sneaking out the back.... just after backing out of the parking lot onto walker.... out walked the officer and a man in handcuffs.... wearing a black leather jacket...the officer opened the door...motioning him to get in.... thank god....they arrested him.... thank god... they took him away... my body was shaking from the inside out.... uncontrollably.... i looked at andrea...saying... i need a shot.... i need a shot now....
i could have gone my entire life without witnessing this... the thing is...he will be released...the wife most likely will not press charges...and upon his return... he will do the same thing again.... perhaps this time worse... because he thinks she called the police.... questioning myself...did i do the right thing....or did i just make things worse for this woman...?
i do know... for a few hours...no one will be beating her... no one will be yelling at her... she will be safe... for a while...safe from the anger... the bruises.... the slapping and hitting...
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
i cried last night
i cried tears of joy...tears of hope....tears of change...as i watched and listened to Obama speak to this country...speak to the crowd in grant park.... i saw the eyes of hope... in thousands of people... people who believed in change....people who voted for change... YES WE CAN!!!
my youngest son Leighton....cast his first presidential vote yesterday...he participated in his first presidential election... he drove from stillwater oklahoma...to edmond... first waiting with his buddy at one precinct then to his...while standing in line he spotted Taylor his older brother about 45 people ahead of him .... excusing himself from the family of a childhood friend.... he joined his brother... i know this may sound silly....but i am so proud of my sons... they voted side by side...
my sons went to school in a republican town...their father is a die hard republican... their friends parents die hard republicans...
yesterday...my sons voted together...for change... i would like to say...i had some influence on their decision...but i cannot... they saw the OBAMA....RICE...ROTH... signs...in our front yard... both giving me a hard time for my political yard rant... teasing me ...
this is ginormous for my sons... to vote against their father's wish.... the first gwbush race...my sons were still very young... highly influenced by their father....their environment... it seemed everyone in edmond was pro bush...not me...i was scared to death of bush becoming our president...telling my sons if he wins...i might as well leave the country.... providing them a list of reasons from... going to war..the economy... education... etc...interestingly...every single reason i gave my sons as to why i wouldn't vote for gwbush...became reality... several years later.... they asked me how i knew ... how i knew all the things i said.... it was simple.... i remembered...clearly...my father sitting in his chair in my parents living room... he had given up on life...he had no hope for the future......my parents lost everything they owned... during the daddy bush administration... they lost their home... their cars... their life savings.... all but the clothes on their backs.... my parents had no work... my fathers company folded... he couldn't find work... watching this amazing man...sit lifeless was more than my heart could take....
yesterday...my sons... voted side by side....my sons voted for change... my sons made their own decision....based on knowledge....education....and a vision... for change... as a mother... i couldn't be more proud of my sons right now.... they called me last night to congratulate me... as i congratulated them...
today....my heart fills bright.... i smile... and for the first time...in this lifetime... i feel the change on the horizon...i feel hope for all americans...
i cried last night....tears of joy...tears of hope...tears for change...for the future of my sons...for the future of the UNITED states... YES WE CAN!!!
my youngest son Leighton....cast his first presidential vote yesterday...he participated in his first presidential election... he drove from stillwater oklahoma...to edmond... first waiting with his buddy at one precinct then to his...while standing in line he spotted Taylor his older brother about 45 people ahead of him .... excusing himself from the family of a childhood friend.... he joined his brother... i know this may sound silly....but i am so proud of my sons... they voted side by side...
my sons went to school in a republican town...their father is a die hard republican... their friends parents die hard republicans...
yesterday...my sons voted together...for change... i would like to say...i had some influence on their decision...but i cannot... they saw the OBAMA....RICE...ROTH... signs...in our front yard... both giving me a hard time for my political yard rant... teasing me ...
this is ginormous for my sons... to vote against their father's wish.... the first gwbush race...my sons were still very young... highly influenced by their father....their environment... it seemed everyone in edmond was pro bush...not me...i was scared to death of bush becoming our president...telling my sons if he wins...i might as well leave the country.... providing them a list of reasons from... going to war..the economy... education... etc...interestingly...every single reason i gave my sons as to why i wouldn't vote for gwbush...became reality... several years later.... they asked me how i knew ... how i knew all the things i said.... it was simple.... i remembered...clearly...my father sitting in his chair in my parents living room... he had given up on life...he had no hope for the future......my parents lost everything they owned... during the daddy bush administration... they lost their home... their cars... their life savings.... all but the clothes on their backs.... my parents had no work... my fathers company folded... he couldn't find work... watching this amazing man...sit lifeless was more than my heart could take....
yesterday...my sons... voted side by side....my sons voted for change... my sons made their own decision....based on knowledge....education....and a vision... for change... as a mother... i couldn't be more proud of my sons right now.... they called me last night to congratulate me... as i congratulated them...
today....my heart fills bright.... i smile... and for the first time...in this lifetime... i feel the change on the horizon...i feel hope for all americans...
i cried last night....tears of joy...tears of hope...tears for change...for the future of my sons...for the future of the UNITED states... YES WE CAN!!!
Monday, November 3, 2008
racism.......
seems to have presented itself in full force.... in a disturbing way... it feels like going back in time....
in 1969...i was in 6th grade... the first year of integration in oklahoma city... kids were bussed from all over the city to new schools..... none of the kids i had been going to school with since 2nd grade were bussed anywhere...we all still walked to school..from our homes a few blocks away...while others...were expected to catch a bus... and ride clear across town.... none of this made any sense to me... being 11 years old...why would it...
as many of you... i remember water fountains...and public restrooms... depicting race... there was no sharing a toilet...or a drinking fountain... there were no black people eating in the same diner as white people... there are so many crazy memories from my childhood regarding race....
at the ripe age of 5...1963 ...my father's company transferred him from balitmore maryland to pine bluff arkansas.... mom and dad rented a house in a less than desirable neighborhood... the school was only a block or so away.... i remember the walk from our house to the building...but that's about it... another memory was being told, with great intensity to "watch out for colored people"... colored people were like "strangers" which we were not allowed to talk to either... upon hearing this... warning..... possibly one of the first signs of the artist in me...... i had no idea what a colored person was....much less a stranger... so i imagined a colored person... with every color in the rainbow...purple...blue...green..red...orange...yellow...magenta... i suppose one could say i had quite the imagination.... needless to say... i never saw one of these dreaded colored people....and i looked...everywhere...i did i looked and looked... a month or so later we moved to a different neighborhood and there was no further need to be on constant lookout...it was an all white neighborhood... far far away from the colored people.... i must admit i was disappointed i never saw a colored person.... my family returned to oklahoma city in 1965 to our home on 25th street....
my racial experiences are vast as with many my age.... going from complete segregation to living in a mixed race neighborhood...
it's now almost 40 years later... and it feels in some ways we haven't come very far... but in others...we have grown leaps and bounds... regarding this issue... tomorrow will be a historical day in this country...no matter who wins the election... however... this election has stirred up some serious racial aggression in this country... it's scary...it's sad...and it makes me angry... yesterday... a friend ask me to accompany him to the grocery store... i accepted the offer... not thinking about the color of his skin... people stared at us...like we were aliens... some smirked at him...casting him angry glares....some looked at me...two or three times... it didn't matter the color of their skin... they all looked... is it bad to have a friend with a different color of skin....? so...we played it up... we went with it....laughing...and having fun... bumping into one another... chatting away.... having a blast....
all i'm saying...is life is hard enough... hating a person because they look different is a waste of time... my friend told me a statistic yesterday...when one is asked to describe what an american looks like....the description is "blond and blue eyed" funny don't you think... this leaves out a great deal of our population....even my sons... and most the people i know...who are no less an american than i....
i can say this...with complete and total honesty...tomorrow i will cast my vote for hopefully the next president of our "UNITED" states.... not because he is black... but because i feel he is a man who believes in each and everyone of us...as a "UNITED" country... and will represent each and everyone honorably.... i support change in this country... i support people...and believe that we are UNITED and we need to as a country...begin to live and act as such....
in 1969...i was in 6th grade... the first year of integration in oklahoma city... kids were bussed from all over the city to new schools..... none of the kids i had been going to school with since 2nd grade were bussed anywhere...we all still walked to school..from our homes a few blocks away...while others...were expected to catch a bus... and ride clear across town.... none of this made any sense to me... being 11 years old...why would it...
as many of you... i remember water fountains...and public restrooms... depicting race... there was no sharing a toilet...or a drinking fountain... there were no black people eating in the same diner as white people... there are so many crazy memories from my childhood regarding race....
at the ripe age of 5...1963 ...my father's company transferred him from balitmore maryland to pine bluff arkansas.... mom and dad rented a house in a less than desirable neighborhood... the school was only a block or so away.... i remember the walk from our house to the building...but that's about it... another memory was being told, with great intensity to "watch out for colored people"... colored people were like "strangers" which we were not allowed to talk to either... upon hearing this... warning..... possibly one of the first signs of the artist in me...... i had no idea what a colored person was....much less a stranger... so i imagined a colored person... with every color in the rainbow...purple...blue...green..red...orange...yellow...magenta... i suppose one could say i had quite the imagination.... needless to say... i never saw one of these dreaded colored people....and i looked...everywhere...i did i looked and looked... a month or so later we moved to a different neighborhood and there was no further need to be on constant lookout...it was an all white neighborhood... far far away from the colored people.... i must admit i was disappointed i never saw a colored person.... my family returned to oklahoma city in 1965 to our home on 25th street....
my racial experiences are vast as with many my age.... going from complete segregation to living in a mixed race neighborhood...
it's now almost 40 years later... and it feels in some ways we haven't come very far... but in others...we have grown leaps and bounds... regarding this issue... tomorrow will be a historical day in this country...no matter who wins the election... however... this election has stirred up some serious racial aggression in this country... it's scary...it's sad...and it makes me angry... yesterday... a friend ask me to accompany him to the grocery store... i accepted the offer... not thinking about the color of his skin... people stared at us...like we were aliens... some smirked at him...casting him angry glares....some looked at me...two or three times... it didn't matter the color of their skin... they all looked... is it bad to have a friend with a different color of skin....? so...we played it up... we went with it....laughing...and having fun... bumping into one another... chatting away.... having a blast....
all i'm saying...is life is hard enough... hating a person because they look different is a waste of time... my friend told me a statistic yesterday...when one is asked to describe what an american looks like....the description is "blond and blue eyed" funny don't you think... this leaves out a great deal of our population....even my sons... and most the people i know...who are no less an american than i....
i can say this...with complete and total honesty...tomorrow i will cast my vote for hopefully the next president of our "UNITED" states.... not because he is black... but because i feel he is a man who believes in each and everyone of us...as a "UNITED" country... and will represent each and everyone honorably.... i support change in this country... i support people...and believe that we are UNITED and we need to as a country...begin to live and act as such....
Saturday, November 1, 2008
november one....08
my father would have been 74 today...
the last time i saw him... he was 65.... may 17th 2000....
12 o clock noon.... he closed his eyes... good bye....
so on this day... i celebrate quietly... my father... the memories...the gifts he left behind... the family... i once knew... never ever to be the same... without him...
sometimes...still to this day... there are moments...when i forget.... you are not here... for me to ask... what to do next... sometimes... i forget... i can't call you....i can't hug you.... i can't sit in your lap...
i suppose.... it's easier to forget.. i can't....than to remember... you're not here....!!!
happy birthday...with all my love...
the last time i saw him... he was 65.... may 17th 2000....
12 o clock noon.... he closed his eyes... good bye....
so on this day... i celebrate quietly... my father... the memories...the gifts he left behind... the family... i once knew... never ever to be the same... without him...
sometimes...still to this day... there are moments...when i forget.... you are not here... for me to ask... what to do next... sometimes... i forget... i can't call you....i can't hug you.... i can't sit in your lap...
i suppose.... it's easier to forget.. i can't....than to remember... you're not here....!!!
happy birthday...with all my love...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)