Friday, April 3, 2009

sanity...insanity....

drama...craziness... what is the meter that measures... sanity... drama...and craziness....? is it our level of tolerance.... is it childhood memories...haunting us....is it.... ego...or lack there of...is it understanding....or standing in judgment...is it what we decide...what we choose to accept as normal....?

perhaps it is...we don't know any better.... we grow up... in a society....dictating right from wrong... as a woman...it is our duty from birth...to serve... it is written in the letters to Corinth's from Paul... how women are to behave in society...what is and is not acceptable....Woman is to Man as Man is to God....
Corinthians 11
3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: Gen. 1.26 but the woman is the glory of the man.
8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. Gen. 2.18-23
Corinthians 14
34 ¶ Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

as a young married woman..... my father who long ago denied the church... still believed that a woman's job was to serve her husband.... one evening...during a family dinner... i prepared my plate of food....and sat down...when my mother came to me... explaining that my dad was very upset... that i had not prepared my husbands plate first then mine...

upon hearing this...not only was i shocked...but really pissed off... why should i wait on him... i work just as hard...i take care of the home... i cook all the meals...clean the home...do the laundry.... take care of all household finances....and i'm expected to prepare his plate of food before my own....

most women...would probably rather not admit this....that we are subservient...that we are to take care of our men...and everything else at the same time...it's like men just get some free to life ticket...to do as they please...while women...are to be second to them....

today...it's not as prevalent...this subservience... however... it is still there...

just after buying my first home.... a salesman came to my door.....he began his pitch... then he paused...asking if my husband was home...i said there is no husband...immediately the man... said how sorry he was... and how i didn't qualify...because i was a single woman.... basically saying....you're only half a person since you don't have a man... this happened repeatedly... in public...on the phone...when shopping... it was a constant reminder...that because i am a woman...i am incomplete...without a man...

as little girls... we are told...fairy tale after fairy tale...of "happily ever after" i believed this shit... i believed that my prince...in white...would come and rescue me...and take me away... making me his princess... i would ride off...on his white stallion... in my beautiful white gown...

i remember... my brothers always getting special treatment...while my sister and i were expected to clean up after everyone... while they got new clothes and got to play sports...my sister and i wore hand-me-downs...and sat on the side lines...

things have changed...since the 50's and 60's.... as to what a woman is allowed to do... we now teach our daughters...they can do anything they want...they can be anything...they too can have and follow their dreams...we even goes and far as preparing them for all possibilities... however... underneath...all of this preparation...is.."when are you gonna settle down...find yourself a good man...have some children..."

if i've heard it once...i've heard it a million times..."women are crazy".... "women are insane" well... i wonder why...

as a teacher... i saw daily...how mothers coddle their sons... they treat them as though they are precious little angels...while not so with daughters.... rules are different for boys than for girls...all of which are socially acceptable....

it seems to me....that women are raised in our society...believing they are not enough without a man... there is this constant underlying message...that as a woman you must have a man in your life or... your just not good enough...something must be wrong with her... she's crazy...she's insane... but she works really hard...

i suppose the bottom line is....we all just want to be loved...we all just want to feel needed... and that we matter... but it's not always the case... sometimes....our innate desire.... social expectations..dictate...who we are...and what is expected of us...

perhaps it will always be a double standard....that men can do and live as they please....and women will always be crazy...insane...drama queens... why.... because...man says so...!!!!


3 comments:

mcarp said...

Is this about me?

kelley said...

no...!! what makes you think it's about you..?

Minovermary said...

It's all about you, MCARP. Ha! You are funny.

My mom has balls of steel, but still waited on my dad hand and foot like he was a King. She worked all day, raised four kids, took care of the house, and catered to him at the end of the day.

I never dug that scene, and neither does my daughter. You're right about one thing; I dote on my sons like they are messiah's. I guess it's because we mothers want out daughters to be strong and our sons to be soft.

I wanted my daughter to know that she could do or be anything she wanted and never had to cater to a man unless she wanted to.

I wanted my sons to be sweet and sensitive so they could be good boyfriends and husbands.

So far, they have all turned out how I wanted them to be because of course, it's all about me and what I want.

Sorry MCARP... it's not about you afterall.

Kelly, sounds like you had a bad day. Do something nice for yourself and forget about those men creatures.

mindovermary