of a beautiful monday morning rainshine.... wanting so.... to feel the rain for days and days... constantly looking up into the sky... blue...wondering when the rain would fall again... feeling it's approach...far off in the distance...along with the rain another desire...came true... music....filling my soul...my body... my ears... the perfect sound of the cello... the guitar... wind chimes....piano.... whistles... saturating the air... the heart beat.... resonating... within me... ... a new life... full with possibilities... believe...believe anything is possible...and this too shall be true....
lately...i have been...searching for something to bring me comfort.. to take away...the fear... searching within...without... coming to terms with the choices i've made... not certain i did this all on my own.... so i look to the sky... to the heavens...the stars...... i listen to the music... i cry in my sleep....while the tears slip slowly down my cheeks... the fear...of tomorrow... the uncertainty of this day... the courage within me...
it is...i need to say good bye... to a friend... realizing... how each of us had our own relationship with josh... mine was brief... much to brief... but it was good... it was true... the last time i saw josh... was rather insignificant... however... for some reason on that day... i stopped what i was doing...and watched him walk away... not realizing...that would be the last time i would ever see josh again... i am grateful...for the day he helped move a sculpture...the day he took me to buy a ton of chat...and helped me shovel it...from his truck...load after load... the day... i learned...what an incredibly beautiful human being...josh mcbeth is... the day... i knew...he would do just about anything to help a friend... i only hope that in his heart...somewhere deep within...he knew he was loved.. and he will be missed...
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I found this post shortly after Josh died and have read it several times since, but never commented.
This time I wanted to take a moment to thank you. For writing about him, for remembering him, for putting it here for me to be able to read.
He would have turned 28 tomorrow. I miss him so.
Thank you,
Lisa (Josh's mom)
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