terrific tuesday...

is here.... thank you ...thank you... i need to get my ace in gear and get out of this cozy bed....i do have things to do today... my mind seems to be heavy with thoughts of yesterday... trying to come to terms...with a bit of emotional drama... the shit...actually took me by surprise...and had a huge impact on my day... dragging me into a place of darkness... words...do have this way...of lingering... for weeks.... months... sometimes years... the old saying..."sticks and stones may break my bones...but words can never hurt me"...is the biggest pile of shit..i have ever heard... the thing is...bones heal..but words...they last a life time.... so... i think today...i will be grateful for all the kind words....in the dictionary... random acts of kindness... my friends.... my beautiful wonderful friends... for john long... a man...i adore... my sons... who always have a way of irritating me and making me laugh at the same time... the dinner i had with mikeC last night....wine and chili... who knew...!!! the dinner...i get to cook for him tonight... a good ole kelley meal....only a few have had the opportunity to enjoy... my sons and their friends... that's about it....no worries mikeC...i don't know how to cook buffalo... nor do i want to know how to cook it....

my christmas lights are still on...from last night...hoping for snow...and a christmas tree... building a fire in the fireplace....a cup of hot chocolate...with whip cream and chocolate sprinkles.... a kiss... and a cuddle... but that apparently is out of the question...my love life...seems to have again... come to an abrupt halt...for reasons.... that make no sense to me..but hey...that's life right... he was much to young for me anyway...damn cradle robber...i did it again...oh you naughty girl... hey baby....wanna come home with mama....i so didn't do that...did i...? i sure know how to pick em.... okay...the truth is...for the most part is was fun while it lasted.... i'm so so glad...i'm not 30ish anymore...god was it that difficult...did i suffer from so much angst...? did i turn trivial things into momumental issues....i'm thinking the answer is probably ....yes... in my defense...i did have a few distractions...during my 30's... two ...being my sons... the majority of my time...my 30's...was focused on those two wonderful boys of mine...still is..to be honest....

on this day.... i read my affirmation for the week...of abundance.... it's ever so exciting... to have the insight of gratitude.... the ability to see...past the struggles of my day to day life...and see what i do have in my life... i have so so so much to be grateful for... and i'll be damned if someone else is going to take it away from me... like right now...i have a smile... so perfect...so sincere... it's coming up from inside of me....an upside down rainbow... oh..i love so much christmas music... where's the radio....

have a beautiful day...everyone... kissing you...hugging you....sending you love and light... and a magical day...filled with wonderful surprises.... joy....and happiness.... if i'm lucky ... a christmas tree...will come to me today...a beautiful....green lovely christmas tree.... before my son moves away...we can decorate it together... the three of us.... what a wonderful thought... what a wonderful memory... oh i love this smile....