one of my former students yesterday....i didn't recognize him...this happens quite often.... when he told me his name... it all came back to me in a flash... the younger brother of a student who has a special place in my heart.... he too... has a special memory... his freshman year...he was in my first hour photo I class... i had a routine...which i presented the first day of each semester.... each student received a syllabus along with 2 or 3 other handouts....i would read each one...along with show and tell... presenting all the supplies needed as well the supplies i would provide...then tour the darkroom...well this boy was so nervous...he blew chow in the darkroom that very first day... of course i never handled these things very professionally... sometimes announcing "oh shit".... are you okay... there is certain protocol that must be followed due to all the life threatening diseases out there... so i did the best i could with the limited space at hand...soon the custodian was in my room with all the necessary cleaning supplies...ha!!!
i asked him how his sister was...and how school was....he told me i need to come back... it's just not the same anymore...he said something not so good about the now photo teacher... i gave him a hug... wished him well...and returned to my table and friends.... watching him walk away.... i smiled...a sweet smile... a good memory... and a knowing that i had made a small impact on his life....
i get asked...almost weekly why do i not teach anymore... why don't you get a job teaching....? the truth is i don't really have an answer....i loved teaching so much...i loved watching the students at that moment of success...the way their eyes would light up.... it was truly magical... the answer i usually give to this question...is the parents... the parents do not hold their children accountable...and they are impossible to deal with.... this is just one of the reasons.....mainly.... i don't feel i can give the kids what they need...and teach them the way they deserve to be taught.... who knows maybe i do...maybe i still have it... and with the opportunity to teach...i might...i just might find myself...happy again..happy to be in the classroom...happy to be giving back...making a difference...giving the gift of knowledge... perhaps... i will know this again....i will find myself in a classroom...doing what i do best....
my son... leighton said yesterday...."mom...everything happens for a reason" he really believes that things are as they are with purpose....and soon everything will turn around for me... today he begins his second semester in stillwater....with great enthusiasm... yesterday he called several times...keeping me informed of his move back to his duplex... he received a ginormous flat screen television along with an xbox...for christmas.... a new old sofa... so he spent his day getting his home arranged to his liking...excited about all his new belongings... feeling good about life... my sons along with most kids of his generation have been raised with technology...unlike that of my childhood....they have had every single... Nintendo... PlayStation...and xbox ever made...computers have been a part of their entire lives.... beginning in elementary school....my sons have never known life with out cellular communication.... fortunately they are not the sit in front of the television for hours everyday playing games sort of kids... taylor averages about two novels a week...along with his studies...and leighton...his social life is over the top busy.... however when they do...break out the xbox...boys will come out of the wood work and suddenly a game of all games...is being played... they shout and groan as if they are actually playing the play off game of the century... always entertaining...
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