Friday, January 30, 2009

a restful....

night...sleeping until 6 o clock... wow...can i say hey hey i feel good today.... going to bed after the midnight hour... then waking at 4 o clock...makes for a very long tired day... being a person of routine... this is all rather confusing for me... there is no routine in my life what so ever... what? i need routine...i function better with routine...a schedule....

i am realizing...i just don't understand retirement.... perhaps i'm not ready....for this sort of life style...longing for brain exercise... physical exhaustion.... mental madness is just not working for me... caught up in my brain...twisted thoughts of what to do..where to go... the desire to be productive...is growing heavy....

dreams in the night...in the day...take me to unknown familiar places... familiar faces... revealing hidden secrets...... playing with tigers...rainstorms...doors won't close...keven is here....the ceiling is leaking just over my bed of white eyelet lace... rubbing my hand on the bubbled ceiling tile..watching the water drip...slowly...as i walk away.... night has fallen... lightening striking...calling out to cathy...come get your cat.... her tiger....soft and lovable...won't stop hugging me... pawing me...wrapping its body around me...relaxing....understanding...i have nothing to fear.... as i walk through the door... the sun is shining...a new day is here....the parking lot across the street filled with people assessing the possibility... the new location of the market.... sun faded red wall... forcing myself to wake...sitting up...groggy... gotta get out of this house....

everything is coming to a close.... the world is changing.... my hopes and dreams of yesterday fulfilled.... i have a strong suspicion...my new life is on the horizon.... feeling the door of opportunity...speaking to me loud.... listen carefully....as to not miss it... in the past...always my intuition...my knowing has come to pass......some would consider this nonsense...crazy... mental case... so i sit quietly...feeling its approach....ready...bags packed....hair comb...clean panties on... fingernails filed to perfection....

friday falls...warm sun...snow melting... once upon a time... i was... once upon a future... i am...

No comments: